By Daniel Lawhorne
Yeah. You heard me.
I grew up in an area where the nearest Chick-Fil-A was about an hour or so away. For years I heard people singing the praises of “the Lord’s chicken.” I longed to try it. Finally, the day came. My dad, brother, and I traveled to Waynesboro to see The Force Awakens and opted for Chick-Fil-A after the movie ended. I was beyond eager to the heaven-on-earth experience that everyone had been talking about.
And I could not have been more disappointed.
It wasn’t that the food was improperly cooked. There was nothing wrong with it. It was prepared exactly as they intended.
It just sucked.
There was nothing special about it. The taste was just OK, nothing about it felt unique, and it seemed a little expensive for what you actually get.
So I waited a few years and tried it again. Who knows? Maybe my taste buds have changed. Maybe the first time was — in fact — just a fluke. To truly give it a proper second chance, I ordered something different than I did previously. And I felt exactly the same way about it as I did the time before. A few years passed, and we stopped at a Chick-Fil-A on the way back from a school field trip. Once again keeping an open mind, I ordered something different and was once more met with mediocrity.
So, what do I hate about it you ask? Well, a lot of things. I don’t feel like the price is justified. If I wanted to pay $13 for fries and a Tyson chicken patty, I could do that somewhere else. Speaking of the fries, waffle fries are the worst French fry shape. They lose their heat too quickly and they’re never crispy. Then, there’s everyone’s favorite part of Chick-Fil-A: the sauce. My stance is that if the best part of your food is the thing you add to it to make it taste good, it’s not good food. The chicken should speak for itself. And finally, there’s the feeling that I always leave the restaurant when I eat there. Every single time I’ve been on my way out of a Chick-Fil-A, I’ve thought to myself “I could have made that at home.”
Do yourselves a favor and admit it: Chick-Fil-A sucks.
If you see me on campus, please feel free to accost me on account of my correct opinion, or send hate mail to Daniel.Lawhorne@svu.edu
Chick-Fil-A Sucks was originally published in The Herald on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.