Hey man, how’s it going? Yeah, cool.
Hey, um, so, you got a second? It’s real quick, I just needed to talk to you about some things. Remember at the beginning of the semester when we had the talk about cleaning and stuff? We just all agreed that it would be easiest if we cleaned up after ourselves. And we — all of us — agreed to that.
So what I’m trying to say here is, you haven’t really been holding up on that. I know you like to cook, and that’s awesome. That lasagna you made back in February looked really tasty.
But it’s April now. And that lasagna pan is still there. At least I think it is. I can’t see the bottom of the pile. I can’t count them, but I’m pretty sure that there are more dirty dishes now than there were clean dishes in the entire house. I’m not sure how that happens. They might be reproducing. Mitosis, you know?
My point is, I haven’t made anything for myself in weeks because there’s been absolutely nothing I can eat off of. I have tried every possible variation of the Cookout tray. The closest thing I’ve had to a vegetable was a pack of fruit gushers. My blood is 80% grease. If you could just wash like one plate so I could make a salad or something that would be incredible. And by “incredible” I mean “literally not even the bare minimum.”
I know that finals are coming up and you’re stressed and you don’t have a lot of time. But you’re a Liberal Arts major. The rest of us are all taking more classes than you. You have the most time.
Anyways, I gotta get going.
You have until 10:00 tonight, then I’m throwing all of them onto your bed.
See ya.
Opinion: It Would Be Great If You Did The Dishes (Guest Column by Your Roommate) was originally published in The Herald on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.